Thursday, March 26, 2009

PepSo-Ko

A flight on Korea Air feels like Pepsi commercial directed by Andy Warhol - 13 hours of concurrent yin yang logo. I watched five in flight movies. Every time I tried to nap my stomach disagreed with the notion of comfort. Each inflight movie started with the same commercial for Korea Air - a double feature, if you will, of a series of 50, as each one starts as a fraction (13/50 or 32/50). Both of them sold young Korean people on trips to the USA. New Orleans and its legendary jazz culture is featured in one commercial while in another the supposed charm of Chicago is sold over an English language emo-soundtrack.

Desperate taxi drivers welcome western travelers with the same repetitive inquisitive questions - Where are you going? The first guy I thought could have been rounding up the teachers in the English Program in Korea but when he had no idea what booth 43 (where I was supposed to be going was) I quickly figured out what was going on.

On the shuttle ride to the University where I am staying for five days to learn how to teach one of the first businesses I saw in Seoul was a "Cheers" with the tagline "Since 1980," which predates the TV show by TV years. Such forward thinking. And then I saw a sign one block down with four word stacked on top of each other "Coffee / Drinks / Whisky / Food." I appreciate the simple honesty.

I also saw a lot of red neon crosses - three in a square kilometer - near the center of Seoul. If only crosses could ward off imperialists - the true vampires - but then again, if they could then I wouldn't be here.

I have met some nice folks from Canada, South Africa, New Zealand, Ireland, as well as the states. We're a generation that has inherited the blessing of the instinctual knowledge of the imperialist language. It is what we all have in common. I don't know if we are part of the problem. I don't know if we are part of the solution but it is what it is.

I haven't received too many weird stares when I walk the streets. They are used to the white man in this part of town. My dormmate, a white American from Florida (but used to live in Berkeley) as well as a Canadian East Indian guy and a white South African girl all went to a bar. The girl insisted that beer and femininity do not mix so she had a glass of wine, meanwhile the three of us gents shared a "big pitcher of beer" for 13,000 won - which is roughly ten dollars. When it came out it surprised us because it was about 150% the size of an American pitcher. The personal glasses of beer were smaller than pints so the pitcher lasted well. The beer however tasted like budlight. I'm going to miss the lovliness of California hops.

The beer was the first thing i bought in South Korea. The second was a tooth brush. I walked to the GS-25, the equivalent of 7-11 and couldn't really say a word to the cashier. he said the total, 1,500 won and I handed him a 5,000 won bill, which somewhat offensively has "Bank of Korea" printed on it in English far more boldly than any of the Latin printed on American money. He said something else and I kept nodding politely but in the end he just kind of scowled at me like I was here to paint white over the bright red and blue colors of the nation yin and yang.

7 comments:

  1. Rob Roy! I already miss the shit out of you! The beer there is horrid. I forgot to mention that. I talked to my friend Jake and he eagerly awaits your call. However, I realize now that his number is on my work computer and I am at home.

    I'll send it tomorrow. Remember to update this blog daily. You will regret it later if you don't.

    Love,

    Josh

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  2. I got you bookmarked right next to GoogleMaps. <3

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  3. Oh yeah, and buy a shitload of those phone cards. They're cheaper than calling directly.

    Oh yeah, and that's not my blog. It's nick's but for some reason I have the password.

    Oh yeah, say hi to Kim Jong Il for me. And don't get blacklisted.

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  4. yeah korean beer sucks. the quicker you develop a taste for soju, the better i guess.

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  5. Mr. Roy,

    Mr. Fernandez is correct when he states that "you will regret it" if you don't update your blog regularly. Mr. Fernandez may be confused about many things, but this is not one of them.

    This is your only warning.

    Your Neighborhood Enforcer,
    Blog division

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  6. Hey, thanks Diane! But Rob has already strayed from the righteous path. Rob, don't be a dick.

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  7. Hey, Josh, We could chat with each other, since Rob is no doubt too busy becoming an accordion-playing monk to blog.

    Great story at his roast, btw. Now that he is such a lousy blogger I am regretting not taking the chance to pick on him while I (we) had the chance.

    Perhaps you could start a blog about not living in Korea that I could follow. Or I could go back to reading about the baby with the brain tumor that I had mostly lost interest in.

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